The need to create inclusive spaces that embrace neurodiverse talents is more obvious now than ever before. I recently appeared on Sara Troy's Self-Discovery Wisdom podcast. We discussed how the education system is 50 - 60 years behind and needs to catch up to the changing world needs.
While individuals with ADHD face challenges at school and at work, there are some unique strengths that come with an ADHD nervous system. We can all learn from neurodiverse individuals, for example Sara found out in her interviews with dyslexic individuals that they're selective with who they let into their circle and who they engage with.
This podcast episode also uncovers common issues in the healing process and practical strategies to empower individuals to build and sustain the habits needed to progress.
This interview is for everyone, whether someone is an educator, employer, or a leader with ADHD. Join as as we shed light on how we can all support a more inclusive and strength-based approach to neurodiversity in both schools and workplaces.
Sara: Welcome to Self Discovery Wisdom formerly known as Self-Discovery Media. On these podcasts, you're going to hear people who speak from the heart. They've taken the journey in life; many things have happened to them, but they've changed it to happening for them. In their strength and courage, they've discovered their abilities and their wisdom, and they are now sharing it here with you. Do enjoy each show; we bring it to you with love and knowing that it is going to help you on your journey of life.
Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, everybody. Welcome back to another edition of mental health awareness right here on Self-Discovery Wisdom. I am your host Sarah Troy, and my guest all the way from the UK is Anna Dafna. We're going to be talking today about the fundamentals of healing your ADHD nervous system. A lot of people do have that nervous system, and we're going to embark on a transformative journey into inner peace with Anna.
We're going to experience the mentoring and psychology that she does with people, and we're also going to be unveiling the profound impact of everyday challenges on your ADHD nervous system. With over two decades of coaching experience, she simplifies the health risks tied to an imbalanced nervous system, providing easy methods to check out on your body's autopilot for the most supportive ADHD and Executive Function coaching. Anna shares seven common pitfalls in the ADHD healing journey, offering practical tips for a smoother path.
We’re going to be talking about how we can bring ourselves calm. Now, I have ADHD children, and you would tell them one thing, and they would go off and do another. Fortunately, they weren't so much on the hyper side of it, but they were definitely on the other. I know for some people, it's quite a challenge to live with ADHD themselves or with children. How do they maximize their happiness, confidence, and performance? This is what we're going to be talking about here today. Welcome to the show, Anna.
Anna: I'm glad to be here. I'm very happy to be here with you.
Sara: ADHD—I remember my children were 80s kids, so I remember it was almost like a pandemic; everybody was being diagnosed with it. I had two children with ADHD and a husband with that, and one daughter with OCD. Then I was on M.O., and I said, "What's M.O.?" He said, "Mother overload." It's interesting because when they were engaged in something, there was no stopping them; they were incredibly focused. But you give them a command that they weren't engaged with, and it just went right over their head. It was very hard for them to concentrate on things that really weren't of interest. That could be said that's just a child. So how do we draw the difference between understanding that I don't want to do it, so therefore I don't hear you, versus ADHD or ADD of just not comprehending what you're saying and being unable to do it?
Anna: Some people with ADD might have lower dopamine, so it's good to work with three incentives and rewards.
Working towards something or having something after a task that can be difficult can help a lot of children, adolescents, and adults because it gives them dopamine. That's very important for task initiation, sustained attention, and goal-directed persistence. Of course, it depends on what the child needs at that moment. Is it sensory dysregulation? Does he need to play? How does he feel? Has he slept? Are they hydrated? Have they eaten well?
Sleep is so important; hydration, diet, and sports for people with neurodiversity generally release hormones for focus. What do they need? Is it a sensory thing? Is it an emotional thing? Is it a dopamine thing? It's trying to navigate that, isn't it? Because hypersensitivity is in many things, and when they're hypersensitive, they're almost vibrating off the chart, and they're not able to cope because their nervous system is just on high alert.
Sara: That's when it's really hard to pull them back in or redirect them because that nervous system has reached a screaming point, hasn't it?
Anna: Yes. According to the Polyvagal theory coined by Dr. Stephen Porges, an American psychiatrist, ADHD is viewed as a nervous system dysregulation. That's a bottom-up approach, whereas coaching is often a top-down approach. The somatic therapies, including the nervous system, take a bottom-up approach.
According to this theory, people with neurodiversity are dysregulated, which means they have sensory dysregulation and emotional dysregulation. This is why they find it difficult to focus, sustain attention, prioritize things, organize things, remember things, and have self-control. They struggle with reflection about their work and flexibility and resilience.
It's important to ensure that people with sensory sensitivities are catered for and feel grounded and safe because it's all about safety.
We do not want to reprimand the child; this is not the time to do it. They are not in control of themselves, so reprimanding them will only throw that sensory off even more. This is the time to find calmness—let's breathe, let's go to a different place where it's calmer, and let those nerve endings calm down. The child isn't being naughty just to piss you off; they are in trouble and unable to cope with the situation.
It's a great way to approach it with acceptance, understanding, and curiosity. Just bring curiosity to their autonomic state. What do I mean by autonomic state? There are three states: the ventral vagal state, where we feel open, safe, connected, and ready to learn and engage with others; the sympathetic state, which is the fight-or-flight response; and then the collapsed state, where they are immobilized, stuck, and feel hopeless, maybe even depressed.
Bring curiosity to where I am today in this autonomic nervous system state and what's the story I'm telling myself. Why am I feeling in this state? What’s the story I'm telling myself? Just verbalizing that gives us power. Maybe we are in fight-or-flight mode, on adrenaline, and the world feels chaotic. Bring curiosity to that, take a minute to pause. You can do that with your children and with ourselves.
Of course, we can shift through the autonomic states. The autonomic nervous system is based on the vagus nerve, the longest nerve that stems from the brainstem at the back of our head to the end of the spine. It's important to know how we are feeling today because this can change how we view the world.
How we feel physiologically affects how we perceive the world through our senses. If our senses aren't working in our favor, we won't view the world positively. We can bring curiosity to how we're feeling and what we need to ground ourselves. We can ask, "What's the story we are telling ourselves?" and how we can support ourselves to move through the states because we definitely need to go and fight for things sometimes, but we shouldn't stay in that fight-or-flight mode.
Sara: Absolutely. We're facing a significant problem where anxiety and depression are more prevalent than ever. Right now when we look at the world. We have wars, shootings in schools, and parents don't know if they'll see their kids again. The kids go to school looking at each other, wondering who is going to lose their cool. There’s so much anxiety out there that people are absorbing without even realizing it.
Anyone with any form of differently abled-ness is navigating challenges where they must be careful not to get overwrought, and now we’re adding even more pressure on them. It’s essential to have techniques to recognize when it’s too much and to honor the need for space.
Anna: It’s vital for them to know what they need and to bring that awareness to their routines to prevent escalation. When we feel so escalated, it’s tough to return to balance, to homeostasis, or equilibrium. This is because, when the nervous system is dysregulated, our body and mind are disconnected. It might take some time to calm down, but starting with the basics is crucial.
High-performance routines, like sleeping consistently and getting quality sleep, are foundational for executive function skills such as organization, attention, memory, emotional control, and self-reflection. People with neurodiversity might find self-reflection more challenging because it can take them longer. Having strategies is essential for managing their condition, no matter what it is. We need to put things in place that they can activate independently. If we run on a 20% battery, we only have 20% to manage daily demands and neurodiversity challenges. It’s important to work with a full battery as much as we can.
Sara: We often don’t realize how much is out there. I do this shamelessly every show, so please forgive me, but I have a book out there with 15 authors discussing disruptive mood disorder, autism, and other issues.
Many people are unaware of what families deal with, what doctors don't know, what schools are clueless about, and how society judges children having meltdowns or adults struggling to communicate. This judgment often labels them as bad people, bad parents, or bad children. Society is not educated enough to understand that these challenges exist, and we need to be more compassionate and understanding. We should offer help rather than immediately go to judgment.
It’s not the child that needs to cater to fit the adult’s needs; it’s the adult and the environment that need to cater to all neurodiverse people, whether in school, university, or the workplace.
Do you think it’s okay for people at work to say, “Look, this is my challenge; I have ADHD or OCD”? To actually communicate that if they feel overwhelmed, they need space? So many people feel ashamed of their challenges due to societal judgment. Almost everyone experiences some challenge in life. This happens to be theirs, and including them is essential.
Anna: Recognizing warning signs and inviting people into the solution is crucial. We need to honor their space. Yes...
Listen to the full interview here.
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